TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS

Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."

Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."

Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."

Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."

Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."

Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"

Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."

Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."

Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."

Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."

Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."

Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"

Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."

याद आते हैं वो दिन |

बस एक बार वापस लौटने का मन करता है |
आज हर वो दिन जीने को मन करता है |
कुछ बुरी बातें जो अब अच्छी लगती हैं |
कुछ बातें जो कल की ही बातें लगती हैं |
अबकी बार क्लास अटेंड करने का मन करता है |
दोपहर की क्लास में आखें बंद करने को मन करता है |
दोस्तों के रूम की वो बातें याद आती है |
एक्जाम के टाइम पे वो हँसी मजाक याद आती है |
कॉलेज के पास वाली तड़ी की चाय याद आती है |
तब की बेकार लगने वाली फोटो चेहरे पे हँसी लाती है |
अपनी गलतियों पे तुमसे दांत खाना याद आता है |
पर तुम्हारी गलती देखने का अब भी मनन करता है |
एक ऐसी सुबह उठने का मनन करता है |
बस एक बार वापस लौटने का मन करता है |
बस एक बार और वापस लौटने का मन करता है |

Jokes Collection

Sante ne Apni Biwi ko Dost k sath ghumte hoye dekh kr Dost ko goli mar di
biwi boli
Apne Gusse pe kabu rakho Varna 1din sare Dosto se Hath
dho bethoge.

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Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.

Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baap bete se: Car mein puncture kaise ho gaya?

Beta: Sadak par bottle padi thi.

Baap: Bottel dikhayi nahi di tujhe!

Beta: Ladke ki jeb mein thi.

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Math Teacher : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.

Student : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter.

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A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 lottery ticket to le le"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"

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Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1st sardar: o yar agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ke banda soo hi jaye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Love and Marriage

Love and Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.

Conclusion: “Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!”

Santa Joke

Duniyaa me mohabbat karne waalo ki, 

Takdeer badalti rahti hai, 

Shisha to wahi rahta hai, 

Tasweer badalti rahti hai.

Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.

Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,

Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!

Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.

Funny Joke

Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?

Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.

Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.

Hindi Prof. Begin to start English

Inside the Class :
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class ( meaning AFTER the class) when I am empty
(meaning when he is FREE).
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today...
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length....


About his family :

* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)

At the ground :

* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.


To a boy, angrily :

* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

Giving a punishment :

* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)